Clients often ask me for advice on how to prevent and deal with problematic behaviors during meetings, One suggestion I make is to establish discussion guidelines at the start of the meeting: Please speak after being recognized by the Chair, stay on track, focus on issues (not people), keep the tone of discussions respectful and civilized, and limit your comments to 3 minutes each. The group should then be asked if it agrees to follow these guidelines.

Although the above approach usually works, it does not guarantee that problematic behaviors will not occur. People may still digress, ramble, interrupt, or even insult one another. This may make it necessary for the Chair to interrupt participants and remind them to follow the established guidelines.

Although such interruptions are sometimes necessary, many Chairs find them awkward and uncomfortable. What makes such interruptions even more difficult is that some people react to them with anger and verbal abuse. I have witnessed several situations when the Chair was accused of being harsh, disrespectful, biased and unfair. The explanation that the Chair was only trying to apply the established guidelines did not reduce the anger.

Is there a way to minimize the need to interrupt people? There is. Recently, after observing a Chair being harshly criticized for interrupting people, I suggested that she use the following script at the start of the next meeting:

"Before we proceed with the meeting, I would like to extend an apology to those of you that I offended by interrupting you in order to enforce the rules of the meeting. The fact that I may have been justified in doing so doesn't diminish the fact that my interruptions were hurtful to some of you. I don't take joy in interrupting and my intention was not to insult or upset you.

I would like to minimize the need for me to interrupt you, but I need your help to achieve this. You can help me by staying on track, being reasonably brief and to the point, and treating your colleagues with civility and respect. If you do these things, there will be no need for me to interrupt you. Can I have your support, so I can run a productive and inclusive meeting for you?"

The result? The Chair's interruptions were reduced to a trickle and the second meeting was much more pleasant and better focused than the first.

The lesson? When faced with a tough meeting, briefly explain how challenging it is to balance the need for democratic and inclusive debate with the need for efficiency, clear focus, civility and respect. Then tell participants what they can do to help you conduct a productive meeting on their behalf.